* Open Letters *

Everyone Shut Up. Shut up Now.

Dear Everyone,

What happened at Sandy Hook is terrible, awful, and incredibly hard to process. It makes people want to tear their newspapers, kick their televisions and throw their laptops, when these media deliver them the news, never mind the devastation and life wrenching calamity that it has caused to those close to it.

What it is NOT is a platform for you to get up on and soapbox.

Seriously.

STOP TRAGICRAFTINGSTOP SCREAMING FOR GUN BANS. STOP INSISTING WE ARM THE TEACHERS. STOP PROSELYTIZING IN POEMS.

And for the love of all things good and nice…

STOP DIAGNOSING THE KILLER.

When you tie shootings to mental illness you do a complete disservice to the public good. You are villainizing an already marginalized sector of the populace based on no good facts what so ever. You are making it harder to seek treatment and harder to gain acceptance for every single person with a mental illness or neurovariance.

As much as some people are trying to help, by pushing for easier access to mental health assistance, they are harming the very people they are trying to help by more or less implicitly stating that untreated mental illness is the root of criminal violence. That will only lead to more labeling of people who are DIFFERENT as people who are DANGEROUS.

Ms. Lisa Long, and her emotional confession of fear of her child, has not helped matters. Publicly likening your own mentally ill child to a spree killer is cruel to that child, and proports to speak for the dead. Don’t get me started on “mommy blogging” either, which seems to be some people’s defense for that terrible article. A mother’s need for support does not actually entitle her to publicly record all of her kids growing pains and wrongdoings in a medium (the internet) from which they can never be fully removed.

I see a lot of voices rising up with the idea that she’s somehow courageous for speaking up about something that might make others judge her… but since it seems to be done at the expense of her clearly already in pain child, no that is not courage. Courageous voices are the ones pointing out what it is really like to BE that scary kid, and how entirely unfair it is of the media to treat people in vulnerable groups as threats rather than the endangered people they actually are.

I can see that a few mainstream news sources have picked up on this issue, as regards the speculation (and that’s all it is) that the shooter may have had Aspergers syndrome, but it doesn’t matter what he may or may not have had. The problem is all this armchair psychology trying to link a horrible act to mental illness because no “normal” person could ever have perpetrated this crime. “Normal” people cannot be driven to these things. “Normal” people never snap and go on a spree. “Normal” people are nothing to be fearful of… just those crazy people.

Shut up. You’re not helping anyone.

X^0

Posted in Just Saying, Open Letters, Serious Business | Tagged | 1 Comment

Thanks, but No Thanks

Dear Girly-Girls,

Now there’s nothing wrong with being a feminine lady if that’s who you are, but I’m not. I’d hardly class myself under any circumstances as ANY sort of lady. I’m female, that’s clear, but the gender role of “lady” is one I simply don’t fulfill nor do I have any compunction to do so. Gender is a spectrum and “Lady” is an extreme end of that spectrum. I fall closer to the middle. That’s who I am and how I live my life. I’m a female bodied androgyne, and I’m very comfortable there. Can’t wrap your head around that? Then I’m a full grown “Tomboy” or a “one of the guys” or what have you. That’s the space I occupy and I’m comfortable there, except when someone forgets this status and tries to enforce cis-woman behavior or dress on me… and that’s where this gets annoying.

See, a lot, not all but a lot of you Ladies, Girly-Girls, Pretty Women, seem to be under the mistaken idea that my more “plain” mode of dress is indicative of low self esteem, a lack of a feminine role model, or some other defect on my part, and that I can be taught to take “better” care of my appearance.

This is patently erroneous.

People tell me I should wear makeup. I would look so pretty. They want to put it on me, but after the first few times I let someone, it’s just a waste of my time. I’ve recently been asked to try on someone’s high heels, as if I’d never worn anyone, and I’ve done it. They’re always surprised that telling me how good I look up on stilts doesn’t make me suddenly want to wear them all the time. I still feel like I’m going to turn an ankle up here. It’s still not healthy. I still want my loafers back PLZTHX. Putting me in a dress will not make me feel like “the woman I am,” because who I am does not depend on what I wear, and I’m NOT a “woman.” Thanks.

So yeah. I’m not pretty, and I don’t want to BE pretty. Sometimes I want to be adorable… but that’s not gendered, and that doesn’t mean I don’t care about how I look, or that I look down on pretty people, or that I think I’m ugly or anything like that. There are just other forms of looking good that feel better on me. Thanks but no thanks on the pretty-girl lessons please. I’ll wear a dress when I please… and pants when I please.

I’m a damned dapper person and that’s exactly how I like it.

8^P

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Insult to Injury – UPDATE

ABC 10 has heard us. They have taken down the video which implied that all tenants were involved in the arson, and replaced it with one which makes clear that there were three tenants and only one is a criminal.

They have also made clear that the cat posters are legit, and we are still looking for two of them, so please keep an eye out. If anyone manages to find one it will be a serious big deal for Lew…. They are pretty much all he has left in this world.

He is still deciding whether to give them the interview with him they now want… weighing the damage done to him by them, with the possible benefits and reputation repair that could be done with the new story.

8^)

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Insult to Injury

Dear ABC News 10,

The story linked in “Mad World” has recently had a video attached to it which was not there at the time that I linked the story. While the text portions of this article are factual, the video takes grave and horrendous liberties with truth.

Christopher Felt was an occupant of the home. His accomplices were not.

There were two other residents of this home who were victims of Felt’s crime, who, due to your news story are now being harassed, branded as criminals, and may face retribution from the community due to your poor reporting.

Lewis and Samantha were the other two residents who are now suffering harassment and poor treatment when they are already traumatized.

You also reported that the “Missing” posters for the cats are a sick joke by the arsonist and his accomplices. This is also WRONG.

Lewis and myself have been postering the area in hopes of finding the cats, and have set up a feeding station in collaboration with Whiskers Animal Benevolent League, because although Felt says he did not release the cats prior to burning the home, we hold out hope that one or more escaped after the doors were busted in by the Cumberland Farms Employees who were looking for the residents, and wish to bring them home if they did.

Thanks to your video we were confronted last night by an angry neighbor spewing profanities and acting in a physically aggressive manner. I myself was in fear for my safety, and poor Lewis got into a shouting match with him on the lawn, since he could not bear to be accused of killing his own cats whom he loved. I woke up this morning still shaking with anger, and still really shook up over being accosted like that.

YOU NEED TO FIX THIS.

Because no one ever bothered to contact Lewis, you have gone and severely ruined the reputation of a VICTIM OF A CRIME, in the neighborhood where he should be receiving support from his neighbors to REBUILD, and to find his cats if they are still out there. Instead he’s being blackballed. His community is turning their backs on him, and all because you reported poorly. A small retraction will not do. The correction must be made far and wide, so that Lewis and Samantha can try and pick up the pieces and move onward without these slanderous accusations hanging over their heads.

– Marisa “Mayonnaise” Jane

Posted in Just Saying, Lew's Fire, Open Letters, Serious Business | Tagged | 9 Comments

December Drivers…

Dear December Drivers,

Just because it is December, doesn’t mean you whackados can go about driving however you please. I get it… you have shopping to be done. That’s lovely… but the following things you should please, keep in mind.

  • If you are making a right on red, you should not be cutting off people going straight… but more than that you should ABSOLUTELY not be cutting off people going straight in the LEFT LANE. Right on Red puts you in the right lane only. Never the left. Cut it out.
  • Make your left hand turns wide enough, and look out for divided roads. I’ve been nose to nose at a red light with too many people these past few weeks who have taken their left, too tight and wound up on the wrong side of the dividing barrier, driving at me head on, and looking at me like I’m the moron when I lay on the horn to point out that, hi, I’m here. And I’m the one pointed the right way.
  • And do me one last favor. Learn how to operate stop signs. Firstly, be aware of three way stops. Sometimes one road doesn’t have a stop sign. They are not cutting you off… it’s a three way stop. Secondly, just because someone is going left, doesn’t mean you get to go first. You only get to go first if someone else got there at the same time as you and they’re going left. If they’re already stopped when you pull up… they get to go before you.

Thank you,
Your Fellow Drivers

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