Mayo Hates Chemistry

Once upon a time, I joked that this blog should be called “Mayo Hates Chemistry,” and it’s true… I do. There are so many things about it that are just plain EVIL. For example, in chemistry ‘S’ stands for Entropy, ‘H’ stands for Enthalpy, and ‘G’ stands for Free Energy. Now enthalpy is also known as ‘Heat,’ which is also H in Physics, but in Physics ‘S’ is time, in seconds, and ‘G’ is GRAVITY. Now, WHY can all the branches of Science get together and decide once and for all what these letters stand for? Why must they screw with my head? Even the Symbols mean different things… sometimes ° stands for degrees and sometimes it’s “not” and yet “not” doesn’t seem to actually mean NOT, in any sense of the word so it might be “knot.” I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense.

THEN there’s K. That’s Ksp and Keq, and Ka, and Kb, and Kw, and just plain K… sometimes there’s Kc, and Ke, or Kp too. They all mean different things, and the underscore letters all stand for something I recognize, but… WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STIX IS K!!!!! I don’t know what they are except that they are somehow related to the underscores and they resemble each other in that all of their equations are fractions with brackets in them. That’s all. Oh, and Kw is ALWAYS 1.0 X 10^-14. Why this is, I don’t know, but everything we have done seems to demand that that is the case.

And if that isn’t enough there’s a bazillion equations which ONLY work IF certain other constrains are met, which you can only find out if are met, if you know the right equations to pick to find out if they are met, and then you need to make sure that none of THOSE equations need other criteria to be met before they can be solved.

*Grumbles.*

And then you have all the damn messes with the experimental values which don’t fit anyplace in the table, and results that are not supposed to happen, and the fact that it appears that the other two Girls in my Chemistry Lab group are best friends for lord only knows how long, so I’m just the third wheel. They are Juniors so they know a lot more about lab procedure and basically don’t want me touching anything, and weather or not I do, it doesn’t matter anyhow, because no matter WHAT we do we are always the last group done.

Every time I look at the Chemistry labs they look like they are written in Greek. GREEK. I gots all these little noteses in my margins and underlines in my textbooks, and it mostly makes sense IN the book, but not all the time, cause on the labs there are to damn many things that “I’m sure you all know,” or that “You should all be able to do already.” The professor prefaces large portions of his lectures with “I’m gonna assume you all know this/ can do this.” Guess what. I don’t. The other day he said: “You all know what a Matrix is right?” and when I shook my head no, he began to explain it… and suddenly the whole classroom is murmuring “Who said no?” like “Who’s the idiot?”

I hate Chemistry…

In other news, it will be Ash Wednesday in about 9 minutes…(Depending on how fast I finish) and I’ve just eaten my last Dove Bar, for the Duration of Lent. I’m giving up Ice Cream… *Higgles.* And tomorrow I am taking my chemistry text to my professors office hours, and asking him all the questions I been saving up till now…

*Sighs.*

Now I go sleeps.

8^O

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