So… yes. I’ve been playing DnD again for a while, and I’ve been posting about the amusing happenings therein to my Facebook, but that’s just not fair to the folks who I won’t friend because I don’t know them in meatspace. (Sorry.)
So… I’ll simply have to start Liveblogging my DnD sessions. To protect the innocent and the hilarious all players will be referred to by pseudonyms rather than their real names, and to get folk up to speed before I start this again, I thought I’d give a short run-down of the parties and escapades of the three games I’ll be liveblogging. I’ll put them up in the order the campaigns were started.
So the first game isn’t really DnD, it’s actually Wheel of Time D20. We’re set before the books, fairly significantly. The Cairhienen still haven’t screwed the pooch and cut down the tree yet, and if none of this makes any sense to you, you should skip to the next game.
We started the game in the Borderlands as a gang of convicts being shoved thru a ter’angreal, wound up in a non-existent Land Above the Blight, where we fought trollocs in a valley, got mobbed by rats in an abandoned city, and found our way to a city built around a citadel full of Darkfriends who gave other Darkfriends brand new bodies for a price. Steppen the Wilder passed himself off as a Darkfreind, but the women of the party were presumed to be bodies for the taking and he didn’t discourage that thought, leading to the three of them being stuck in a cell while he ran around the citadel unchecked, until he found an alchemy lab and smelled the chloroform. The party fought their way out of the citadel, with the aide of a Whitecloak, kidnapping a party member’s sister’s body (currently inhabited by a Darkfreind) and making off outside the city. During a second infiltration of the Citadel the party got trapped in a ter’angreal store room where they were fighting a Myrdrall using a shocklance… a ter’angreal got shot and turned blue and made a woooosh woooosh noise, and transported the party thru a change of DMs to…
Seanchan, where the party met up with some new, local, PCs and engaged in a run for the seaport to get the hell off the continent. Along the way they were chased by an angry truthseeker, took a ride on some Toh-raken, crashed several Empire toh’raken, got attacked by local fauna and some creepy not-grey-men and a party member with a wasting disease, and the escaped Machin Shin, before fleeing the country ahead of some grey wasting caused by the Machin Shin, via skimming…
Then we got into combat in the skimspace and lost our bearings and came out.. with another new DM… In the Seafolk Islands… where so far the party has managed to charter a ship the hell out of there… and not much more.
Issorn – Algai’d’siswai 8/ Wanderer 1 – Played by Me! Mayo!!! The Third DM – Original Party PC – Also known as the World’s Clumsiest Aiel, because I keep rolling botches for her. Wrongly convicted of a Gleeman’s murder because everyone knows those Maiden’s of the Spear kill a man a day. Put her own First Sister down hard earlier in the campaign, when her body was hijacked by a Darkfriend. Is a Viewer, but everyone forgets that most of the time. Currently engaging in bed relations with Vareck and still wants to find her dead sister’s baby to bring him home. Recently learned to swim… the hard way. About to become an NPC for a while, since, I’m DMing for the module.
Varrek – Armsman 3/Wilder 6 – Played by Q, the first DM – Joined the party in Seanchan primarily because he wanted to get with the “exotic” mainland women of the Party. Was our defacto leader during this time because the rest of the party was pretty much lost in Seanchan and he was considered a Nobileman there. Tried to pass off Issorn as a Dacovale, to a truthseeker and failed hard. Fled the country with the party after the truthseeker, still pissed over the first lie, found out he could channel, but not before warning his Empress that the Machin Shin was loose on their continent.
Steppen – Wilder 9 – Played by the Second DM, DB Ranger, my BF!!! – Only surviving Original Party Member besides Issorn – Also known as “Fat Man” Steppen is an Illianer who rolled poorly on his height weight ratio for a guy with a negative strength modifier and then refused to tell the party his name for the longest time. Has conquered his block and was once a False Dragon, but no one in the party knows that. He’s also a Latent Dreamer, but has not yet mastered the skill. Notorious for staying in his wagon, where he was hoarding food from the other party members, while others fought… until he lost his wagon (and the food) when the party was transported to Seanchan via ter’angreal, which still upsets him to this day. Steppen posed as a mundane healer for much of the early game, while using the One Power to surreptitiously cast healing weaves. Also notorious for checking the contents of an alchemy lab by smell, and finding the chloroform. “Hey Fat Man, does this smell like chloroform to you?” Battled his way out of the citadel singlehandedly with a chloroformed mop.
Gwen – Armsman 9 – Played by Katratzi, my former roomate – Promoted Original NPC – The PCs were joined in the Land Above the Blight by a whole legion of fellow NPC convicts. Gwen rolled in as someone who’d been with the party all along, an Armswoman from Farmadding. Gwen is a low wisdom character who’s solution to most problems is to hit it with her sword… or ram it with her tower shield… but the lost the shield so now it’s mostly the sword. She can’t channel, but she knows what an area without the One Power feels like, because they feel eerily like home. (No Power in Farmadding.) Refuses to participate in “Plan B.” (When we’re all going to die, the girls make out.)
Li-Li – Wilder 9 – Played by Moon – Found by the party as a lost young teen in the woods, Li-Li joined up with the promise of being taken the hell out of Seanchan, to a place where she no longer needs to fear the Sul’Dam. Li-Li’s block is anger. She’s a powerhouse when she can channel, and a terrified little girl when she can’t. The first female channeller in the party, she is also the key to our higher level channeling, as she can make a circle with one of the men.
Karas – Woodsman 9 – Played By J – He’s a Wolfbrother, and therefore notorious for sniffing the wind and running away at the beginning of any session where his player didn’t show up for the longest time, he’s not even really sure what he’s doing with these people except the part where Machin Shin makes his continent unlivable.
Azaroth – Woodsman 9 – Played by Waffle, Katratzi’s Fiance – Twin brother of deceased Azriel, also an Arafellian Woodsman (see below). Asteroth joined the party in Seanchan, along with his brother and 3 other Arafellian NPCs. He was promoted to PC when his twin died. Asteroth, and his fellows, are no longer wearing the bells typical of Arafellians, as they removed them to try and fit in better in Seanchan.
Andros, Zane, and Smitty – Arafellian NPCs – The remainder, along with Asteroth, of the hundreds of Arafellians who set off thru the ways following the trollocs that captured their Princess. Everyone else is dead. Andros the Armsman is the leader, clever tough, and very mission oriented. Zane the Woodsman is the Sniffer, somewhat traumatized and angsty. Smitty (Pronounced Smi-taaay) is the idiot Armsman. When these three are rolled for all at once, Smitty always gets the botch… when someone accidentally hits a party member on their botch… it’s probably Smitty… and no one ever bothers to waste healing weaves on him, mostly because he says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times. He’s sooooo inappropriate, he made a da’covale slap him.
No Longer With Us:
Domani Noblewomen – Original Party PC – She convinced the jail in the borderlands she was pregnant and got extra food… hid a bag of diamonds up her lady bits and took subdual damage from trying to run with them up there, and generally kicked butt with a blade. She’s presumably living happily in the land above the blight with the man she seduced shortly before the party was transported to Seanchan without her. (Player Left Game between sessions while off seducing an NPC.)
Midlander Armsman – Original Party PC – Notorious for slowing the party down with his armor encumbrance, and lauded for having the only booze anyone could find out in the Land Above The Blight… and plenty of it. Drank himself to a stupor and died of heatstroke while sleeping it off on the back of his donkey, having forgotten he picked up a disease getting bitten when the party fought a rat swarm. (Player Left Game while his PC was passed out Drunk on his Mule Cart.)
Rilwen – Waffle’s First PC – Promoted Original NPC – Rolled in with Gwen, as the two replacement players for the above. Somehow managed not to notice Steppen casting “Rend” right in front of him, and therefore delayed the whole party knowing Steppen could cast for quite some time. Killed by a Gralm shortly after arriving in in Seanchan.
The Whitecloak Channeller – Original Party NPC – Q’s personal favorite NPC, this Whitecloak thought he could perform miracles… but really he’s a channeller. One of three channellers the party managed not to realize they had with them. Last seen setting out on his own after the party was transported to Seanchan. Presumed dead because well… male channeler in Seanchan who doesn’t know enough to hide it.
Tarrin – Midlander Woodsman Wolfsister – Promoted Original NPC – Rolled in shortly after Gwen, a ranged fighter with a bow. Notorious for thinking it was a good idea to take a dead Myrddall’s sword with her, and therefore catching a wasting disease and becoming first a load that the other PCs had to drag around Seanchan in a carriage, and then dying and resurrecting as Tarrin’draal which the PCs had to kill. (Player Left Game Without Getting Disease Cured, became NPC, then monster.)
Azoth – Arafellian Woodsman – Waffle’s Second PC – The Arafellian’s designated healer, this low constitution character died in his first encounter. A quick fix of the bad idea of using constitution as a dump-stat, and a quick name change, and the player played on as his own twin, Azaroth.
The da’covale – NPC – Bought by Vareck to teach Issorn how to play the part, and then carted around with the party terrified for several more sessions. Was usually to be found hiding with Li-Li or behind Vareck and Issorn. Left behind in the care of the Emperess’s Death Guard, since she wouldn’t want to leave Seanchan, and it’s the closest thing to “safe” the party could find.
Timmy – NPC – Just… Timmy… I’ll tell his story someday. It makes it’s own freaking entry.
Sooooo… yeah. That’s everyone pretty much everything you need to know… tomorrow, we set things up for DnD Elder Forge!!!