As the Wheel Turns – In Which Azeroth Dresses in Drag

So when last we left the legion of mental defectives… as we for some reason call this band of… ok, I guess there’s a reason…. they had just chartered a boat in the Seafolk Islands, to take them back to the Westlands, and drop them in Illian. The Seafolk need to make a detour to Shara first, but will drop the party off afterward. This will be a little less LIVE of a blog as I kind of need to pay a LOT of attention when I’m the DM. I’ll take shorthand notes and flesh them out later.

Our Cast of Characters is my Aiel Issorn, Q’s Seanchan Wilder Varrek, DBRanger’s Illianer Wilder Steppen a.k.a. Fatman, Katratzi’s Armswoman Gwen, Waffle’s Woodsman Azeroth, Moon’s Seanchan Wilder LiLi, and J’s Wolfbrother Kerras. J’s not here tonight so we won’t see much of Kerras. He’s staying on the boat.

So thus begins the first full session I’m DMing… FSM save us all.

  • So they players head out… on their ship, and we roll fortitude saves against seasickness. Of course the Aiel is seasick. So is the Princes, Smitty, and… The Fatman. From Illian.
  • Zane the Sniffer spots a Grey Man…. INITIATIVES!!!!
  • Li Li Drops him in the water… nevermind on those initiatives.
  • The rest of the first leg of the sea trip passes uneventfully… so… does anyone have anything important to say/do to one another while on the ship?
  • The players discuss that Varrek and Issorn are probably knocking boots plenty on this trip… involved players point out that that kind of goes without saying, and can we move on. Apparently not… players want to know how they get their privacy.
    Steppen: Excuse me! My stuff is in that cabin!!!
    Varrek: Master Ward on the door! Now where were we?
    Steppen: (To Gwen) There’s a ward in the shape of a sock on that door… you don’t want to go in there.
  • Days later in Shara, they hit the bazaar. Pass by a “Meat on a Stick” stall, barter with a smith for a new metal tower shield for Gwen, who gives up her wooden shield, and two daggers in addition to some coin, in order to get a hold of it.
  • Meanwhile over by the clothes sellers, the Princess Varishna throws a royal fit over an expensive dress she wants, getting the guards pissed off at her.
  • Varrek manages an impressive intimidate check and she shuts the hell up.
  • Meanwhile the Fatman is availing himself of “Meat on a Stick.” What type of meat it is is nearly impossible to get out of the shopkeeper, because Sharan’s won’t ever give their customers a straight answer about anything, especially not the foreign customers.
  • Smitty’s being chased thru the Bazaar with a bottle. The Guards yell “Stop theif!”
    Moon: Did he just steal hooch?
  • So after the Princess’s fits, and Smittay’s stealing spree, Andros declares all the Arafellians are going back to the ship. They do.
  • Q: I’m a vindictive noble too!
    Varrek buys Li Li three dresses, all better than Varishna’s…. then jewelry for all three women.
  • Varrek: And how about a dress for you too Issorn?
    Issorn: Maiden’s do not wear dresses. I have my Cadin’sor.
    Varrek: How about some trousers then, out of silk?
    Issorn: Silk doesn’t seem very serviceable.
    Varrek: It’s not meant to be serviceable its… like for festivals and things.
    Issorn: . . . . . we only wear the Cadin’sor.
    Illianer Wilder: She doesn’t get it!!! *Singsong.*
  • Day Two in Shara: Off the boat… Vareck and the Fatman want to Gamble. The Arafellian’s sans Smitty, head to the bazzar with Gwen and Issorn.
  • Gwen and Vareck hit the moneychanger to get some smaller coin, because neither the gamblers nor the “Meat on a Stick” purveyors want to deal with silver marks… they need silver pennies and copper pennies.
  • Princess Varishna will not eat the “Meat on a Stick” untill she’s been told exactly what it is. Andros tries to be her “food tester” but she’s not having it. Well EXCUUUUUUUSE ME Princess!!!
  • Just when they get that under control… Smitty is found in a cart trying to cross the wall out of the port. Things go to hell at that point as the guards decide that all the Arafellian’s need to be arrested.
  • Gwen pretends not to know any of them, and enjoys her “Meat on a Stick.”
  • Varrek only wants to save the women. The dudes are all Arafellian… or on the ship (Kerras) or the Fatman who… where is the Fatman?
  • The Fatman is Playing Cards…. again. This ass never gets into the combat! No wonder the first DM had to make him a Ta’veren!!!
  • Issorn trys to rescue the Princess, on Varrek’s say so, but it fails… and she saves LiLi instead, the two of them running back to the ship WHICH IS MAKING SAIL!!!!
  • Varrek manages to negotiate for the release of Varishna, while the other Arafellian’s get thumped and arrested… Goodbye Andros, Smitty and Zane… where is Azeroth?
  • Aeroth passed his hide check and slipped into the back of a clotheir.
  • Li Li flys over to the ship and lifts the Windfinder with “Arms of Air” breaking her concentration and stopping the ship… mostly. The Seafolk open fire on her with slings… trying to break her concentration but not to really HURT her.
  • Gwen… still not involved in any of this, takes her “Meat on a Stick” and makes a leisurely route to the dock, where Issorn is still standing.
  • Meanwhile the Fatman has noticed the ship trying to leave without him, stolen a rowboat, lost an oar, and fashioned one out of the Shocklance and his Cuendillar buckler. It’s really hard to row like that.
  • Varrek takes Varishna into a shanty on the dock, and skims with her back to the now mostly stationary ship, coming up on deck to see Li Li still flying about with the Windfinder in her arms of air.
  • Azeroth is still hiding… and now the guards are all searching for him, since he’s the only one of the Arafellian’s they haven’t got.
  • Varrek impresses upon the Seafolk that he really doesn’t give a shit about the troublemakers they’re trying to ditch, he just wants them to pick up the girls off the dock and then they can leave.
  • Meanwhile Azeroth fails several disguise checks in the back room of the clothier, trying to dress himself up as a woman. He makes his bluff checks when cornered by guards tho, convincing them that he is in fact a woman… and in bad need of clothing alterations.
  • DM: You finally realize, that this disguise would work a lot better if you maybe stuffed your bra. *Azeroth passes his disguise check.*
  • So the Fatman is rowing… rowing… rowing… for an Illianer he really sucks at rowing, although it may have something to do with his improvised oar. A longboat is going to the docks for Issorn and Gwen, and Azerothina is making his way thru the bazaar in ladies clothing with a veil on.
  • The session ends as Azeroth makes it to the docks in time for the longboat to get him too, and Steppen gives up on the rowing, relinquishes the rowboat to it’s rightful owners, and hitches a ride back to the ship with Issorn, Gwen and Azerothina.

Next time… gee… I don’t know. The boat full of PCs has more adventures…. and maybe we’ll see those Arafellian’s again someday.


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