As the Wheel Turns – The Legend of Zelda

So when last we left the legion of mental defectives, they were on a boat… well four of them were on a boat. Karas, Li Li, Varrek and Varishna were on the ship already. Issorn, Steppen, Gwen and Azeroth, were on the longboat leaving the docks in Shara, just ahead of some pissed off guards who have arrested Andros, Zane and Smitty, and wanted Azeroth and Princess Varishna too.

Once again, this is a post-game fleshed out liveblog because I can’t be writing it out full length while DMing… it’s not fair to the players. Tonight our friend Strife, from the other two D20 games is rolling in to the game as a new PC, meaning she and I, and Q are now in all four games. Kerras is an NPC again tonight.

So yeah… We’re On A Boat…

  • DM: So, yes the whalemistress…
    Q: WHALE Mistress?
    DM: The Sailmistress wants to know why there appear to be far more people in that longboat than you sent them for, and would like LiLi off the deck as she’s upsetting the Windfinder.
  • Varrek: Li Li, go below and flaunt your dresses at the princess.
    LiLi happily complies… which is all the better as her player is AWOL.
  • Upon the longboat coming aboard, Vareck vouches for Steppen’s non-involvlment in the trouble and claims not to be responsible for the fact that the boatmen picked up this strange extra woman.
  • Azerothina: I’m Azeroth!
    Azeroth explains why he’s in drag.
  • So the whole crew sets sail for Illian, trying to put as much distance between them and the Angry Sharans.
  • Azeroth divests himself of the dress…. but keeps his chest stuffed?
  • DM: So… as you’re sailing along, you happen to see three smaller ships on the horizon… coming toward your ship.
    Q: Are they from Seanchan?
    DM: Geeze I hope not!!!!
    Players: *Eyeball DM, and begin laughing.*
    DM: Errr… no! No they are not. You do not recognize the heraldry. It’s purple with a little green on it.
  • So the ships go head on with the others, who split and flank our ship and launch grapplers to board.
  • Gwen takes the Princess below decks but she won’t stay there unless Gwen stays with her.
  • Kerras and Issorn knock arrows and start shooting at the boarding parties.
  • Vareck Creates a sudden and unfortunate obstacle directly in front of one of the ships, which he refers to as a “reef” although it’s more like a large thin knife of Hardened Air, which rips the bottom off a boat.
  • Azeroth takes his sword, and his boobs… and goes to cut the grappler ropes to stop the boarding party.
  • The Seafolk are launching flaming pots at the ships… which are really confused by the misfortune befalling them.
  • Varrek causes “sudden and unfortunate reefs” to happen to a second ship, and instructs Li Li to stop the third with her wind.
  • Steppen heads to the back of the boat, ahead of Varrek and Li Li… and opens a skim portal and dumps the whole other ship in it.
  • DM: Great… you just killed the new PC… now I have to introduce her some other way!
  • Azeroth heads below to check on Varishna.
    Gwen: Next time, babysit your OWN princess!!!
    Azeroth and Gwen commence to bickering like old marrieds…
    Which is funny since their players are recently engaged.
  • So they decide to all head to sleep, only the Fatman has locked himself in one of the cabins with a Masterward in the shape of a Sock over the door…. so no one wants to go in there.
  • Gwen, Li Li and Issorn and Varrek sleep in Andros, Smitty and Zane’s former beds respectively, no one tells Li Li that that’s Smitty’s bed… and Kerras sleeps up on deck.
  • So yeah… the next morning, the party awakes to the sound of arguments on deck… well… some of the party wakes. Some of them fail their listen checks.
  • Apparently they’re arguing about strangely acting seagulls and whether or not to investigate them. The PCs have no opinion, so we go to investigate.
  • DM: As you get closer to shore the Windwaker is-
    Katratzi: Windwaker?
    Waffle: Are we playing Zelda now?
    DM: The Wind FINDER is increasingly agitated. Although the sea is calm she is convinced there is an imminent storm. Soon you see a shipwrecked seafolk ship and now everyone’s all over this. Gotta rescue those seafolks.
  • A storm kicks up something terrible… out of nowhere.
  • There is another ship there, with the same marking as the others… there’s three persons on deck, Varreck recognizes the man as a channeler…. and he’s weaving Lightning at a high level!
  • The Fatman prepares to put this ship into the void too.
    DM: Hey Strife, high or low?
    Strife: Low?
    DM: Varrek, you notice on the deck of that ship, chained Seafolk.
    Varrek tells the Fatman not to do that.
  • There’s a whirlpool forming which starts to whip their ship around and around in circles closer and further from the evil ship of evilness.
  • Q: I don’t think you can do that anyhow… the portals need to be parallel to gravity.
    DB Ranger: What do you mean parallel to gravity?
    Q: They have to be vertical, they need to run parallel to gravity, they can’t be perpendicular.
    DB Ranger: They are most certainly NOT parallel to gravity. Gravity fields are-
    Q: The earth is round and so are the portals!
    DB Ranger: You’re arguing with a physicist here. Gravity is a property of all matter, so it would affect the shape. If they were parallel to gravity they’d be a fuck awful shape!
  • While they argue about that, another whirlpool stars forming. When it finishes forming it will send the ship into a jetty. Cue long argument amongst the PCs.
  • DM: Talking is a free action, but this is getting out of hand. You have three minutes real time before you hit the jetty.
  • DB Ranger: Ok, so… we open a portal, and then another portal, without making a disc, to hopeful get right over there and ram that other ship in the rear crippling it, but not killing the captives.
    DM: Luck roll please for navigating without a disc.
    DB Ranger: But it’s such a short distance!
    DM: It’s a matter of timing. You can come out anywhere without a disc. If you time it right, on your luck roll, then you’ll be where you want to be… otherwise, god knows.
  • They run the ship aground, but at least it’s on a sandy shoal and not on the jetty. They should have suffered some severe damage, but Varrek but a Masterward on the forward hull of the ship.
  • The enemy ship launches boats for the wreck… and the ocean seems to be reaching out for the beached skimmer, trying to surround it, the ship begins to come upright.
  • Kerras and Gwen overboard!!! Steppen also fails his balance check, but only bad enough to faceplant on the deck.
  • Steppen, Vareck and Issorn skim over to the ship to shield their casters… the ocean immediately recedes to it’s proper shoreline, dropping the not yet fully upright ship back on the shore.
  • Gwen starts climbing up one of the severed grappling lines to get back up to the ship… she botches and falls off once, but gets up there on the second try. Kerras has no ranks in climb. What kind of woodsman Wolfbrother is he? He falls a LOT.
  • Steppen opens the skim portal directly adjacent to the Channelers and Varreck encases them in a Masterward. Ha Ha. No more Channelers.
  • They then skim up to the helm and intimidate the fuck out of the helmsman who informs them that the captain was one of the channelers, and he can’t send the signal to recall their boats because he’s not a channeler himself.
  • They determine there’s one more channeler on the crew, named Megrah, guarding the prisoners down below, and call her up.
  • Megrah: Joey is this some kind of joke? What is going on up here?
  • So they capture Megrah, and get her to recall the boats, and she’s pretty distraught because Joey is going to suffocate inside that Masterward.
  • Steppen goes to release the prisoners, and tells them to take back the ship, then he makes a key of air and opens one of the cells, releasing a woman in blue silk pants, and gold jewlery.
    Steppen: Are you a Windfinder?
  • Meet Zelda! Initiate 13, Windfinder!!! Nice name choice Strife.
  • So as it turns out these folk are capturing channelers to sell to Shara. Zelda lets out another Windfinder, and the Aes Sedai lets herself out and warns them against letting the “poor creature” that is a male channler out of his cell.
  • Her name is Lindrina Sedai, and she argues at length with Zelda and Varrek about releasing the Channlers from the masterward. Varrek has trouble with the concept of Aes Sedai as being not monsters, and isn’t having it until goaded into it by Steppen, and Zelda insists that the male in the ward must be killed, and only the women imprisoned.
  • The other Windfinder sends word to the beached ship that they have taken this one, and are now friendlies.

So the session ends there… actually Katratzi and Waffle left a bit before it ended because it was getting late and Azeroth and Gwen were stuck on the other ship, so we’ll have to catch up with what was going on on the main ship at the beginning of next session.

Seya then!!!


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