Real Skaters Wear Quads.

So yesh… For those of you who haven’t heard and are actually near enough to care… The Starburst Family Entertainment Center is Closing… (No affiliation with the Candy… it’s been around forever.) Now this is the Rink where I learned to Skate… and the rink where I love to skate… and the only rink I’ve ever been to with Rental Skates worth a Damn…. So the fact that it’s closing, means I have no place to skate… and no skates worth doing it on if I did… and I love to skate… so something had to be done about this. I resolved that I was going to get my own skates… and break them in… at the Starburst, before it closed… so as to always have some bit of Starburst with me when I skate.

As a result… I went on an Expedition today… to find Quads.

I will not wear Rollerblades. I tried once… they’re all wrong. I can’t stand them. I know they’re getting more and more popular, but I can’t move my ankles in them and I find that frustrating to an absurd degree because I steer with my ankles… and I prefer all four of my wheels UNDER my feet, not sticking out the front and back.

That said, I hopped in the car and headed for the Bike Shop where my Parents had bought their blades… like… 10 years ago. I thought… if anyone would have quads, it would be the neighborhood bike shop… right? Wrong. No Quads… no skates of any kind anymore. New management… nothing but bikes and skis… yeah… skis… I don’t get it either.

So back in the car… I drove to the neighboring town to a place they assured me sold Skates… “Kemps” I drive up and read the sign, and put my forehead into the steering column. It’s a Hockey Supply store. Now I know there are some countries where there’s roller hockey on Quads… but not around here… so I’m thinking… “They’re not gonna have them.” So I ask the kid. “Do you sell quad skates?” and he’s all “Oh yes we have those!”

I’m elated of course… until he takes me to the inline skates… he apparently thought quad skates… were inline that had four wheels. Gah. So I’m all like “No… quad skates have four separate wheels, on two sets of trucks… you know… roller skates. Regular everyday Rollerskates.” They didn’t have them… but Dick’s Sporting Goods might. Back in the Car.

Dick’s had Blades only…. But Wal*Mart might have them… on the other side of the complex. Ok… so I hoof it to the other side of the shopping complex… across the mile wide parking lot… cause I don’t feel like wasting gas in the current economy. Big surprise… They haven’t got Quads either… Even the Fisher Price Strap-On Skates are inline… which is sad. What’s happening to Quads?

It was raining when I left the Wal*Mart… and I was soaked by the time I got back to the car… I called it a wash and went home… my father’s all “Why do you want Quads anyhow? Are you trying to make a statement or something?”

This from the man who once insisted he could never skate on anything with wheels. Ice Skates yes… wheels of any sort? No. Yet he now owns inline skates.

Anyhow… I waited till later that night, and called the Guptills. It was the only thing left to do really, even though it galled me to give them any money. They’re the rival Skating Rink to Starburst… Sort of… I’m not sure they even know Starburst Exists. But being a Guinness Book Record holder for Largest Skating Arena… they have a big head over there… and a big floor… and a teeeeeny tiny sound system, so that you can’t hear the music on 80% of the floor. Only right over by the DJ booth can you hear anything. And their “Vintage” Floor is so old… with so many coats of shelack on it… that if you were to walk on it in shoes you’d fall over like you were walking on ice. I don’t want to skate on that. Suffice to say, I got a pair of Refurb Quads there… they set me back $110, but new they would have cost me $178, so it’s a fairly good deal, and they’ll last pretty much as long as I’m young enough to skate…

Now I just have to break these things in… the boots are so stiff.


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