Elder Forge – The Stone Horse Returns

When last we left our intrepid adventurers, Aaron was chasing Bedouin around the desert, shrieking “Get in the Bag,” while Masarrah and Merle, hung out in Bavin on the pile of stuff that used to be in that bag of holding… while watching him via the scrying orb.

So yeah… here we go again, trying to get some equipment before going up to the citadel and trying to defeat Tiamat… less booze tonight, so Dungeons and Drunkards a little less likely than previous nights.

  • DM: The desert is smeared with red.
    Mayo: Bread?
    DM: RED.
    Strife: You’re thinking of the Gingerbread Genocide.
  • Aaron Pulls out Eldora… who doesn’t seem happy that he’s spent so much time in the bag of holding.
  • Eldora: Remember the word is out that you’re members of a terrorist group.
    Masarrah: Except me.
    Aaron: Which is odd, because you ARE a member of a terrorist group.
    Masarrah: We’re not terrorists, we’re freedom fighters!
  • When given the choice between being screwed up the ass by a cactus, or David Bowie… the Majere and Q agree: David Bowie.
  • Of Eldora:
    Strife: We have a more judgmental version of Wikipedia!
    Q: With more accurate information!
  • DM: It’ not the same magic shop as… wait… you know that would be funnier. It’s the same magic shop where you threatened the shop-keep earlier in the campaign.
  • Strife: Potion of Gay Wight?
    DM: DAY LIGHT
  • DM: There’s a Potion of Rings… no wait…
  • THAT DAMN STONE HORSE IS BACK!!!! No matter where we go there’s always a damn stone horse in the loot… and we never ever take it and then there it is again!
  • DM: Dimensional Shackles…
    Strife: For when you’re feeling really Kinky with an Outsider.
    DM: A succubus perhaps…
  • Mayo: …Lordsword…
    Everyone start’s laughing.
    Q: It’s like a Bastard Sword! Only Legit!
  • We need 1,118,320 gold to get all the things we want…
    DM: How much gold do you have?
    Q: Enough.
  • We spend so much time trying to trade in old magic goods for new magic goods that the DM eventually gives up and just gives them everything we tried to haggle for.
  • DM: As you get closer to the citadel you realize that it’s surrounded in blue, black and red…
    Warmage: Dragons… ok, we can pass these will saves.
    Mayo: I’m a hobbit! I have a +2 to will saves!!!
    Merle and Masarrah fail their will saves and flee in flying terror from the dragons, screaming incoherently, still invisble.
    Aaron: *Invisible Facepalm.*
    Mayo: *Goes to the computer with the mood music. Cues up Benny Hill.*
  • Aaron whips out his scroll of shape change, and becomes an ancient red dragon…. and bosses around the younger dragons that were swarming the castle, trying to tell them, to capture Merle and Masarrah alive.
  • Tiamat tells her Dragons not to listen to him… Masarrah uses her word of recall.
  • Merle, in a full dive towards earth, finally manages to loose the Dragons, and Aaron can only find her by using his helm of telepathy to ASK her where she was.
  • Aaron teleports the both of them to the hive of the Gi-ANTS, and they camp for the night, disappointed that Masarrah isn’t there.
  • Masarrah, who’s been scrying on Aaron and Merle, makes her way to their camp in the night, catching Merle on watch… they wake Aaron.
  • So… they go hang out at Masarrah’s order’s abandoned base and check out all the magical things they use
  • Merle gets a satchel full of wondrous figurines…
    GOAT OF TERROR?!?!?!?!?
  • AND THERE’S THAT STONE HORSE AGAIN!?!?!?!
  • Aaron: You want this fan of wind?
    Merle: What does it do?
    Aaron: Lets you make wind.
    Merle: I can already do that. *Farts.*
  • Aaron: Well they sure left behind a lot of really useful- lets go get an army.
    Masarrah: Why are we going there, lets go back to Tiamat!
    Aaron: You think we should attack Tiamat with a Bag of Animals?
    Massarah: We attacked her WITHOUT the bag of animals…
    Aaron: And that went really well.

So yes… the party is about to head off to another plane to enilst the help of some extraplanar creatures in attacking Tiamat’s fortress because… well… otherwise we’re all just going to get dragon feared into obilvion again.

8^)

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