Ravenloft – 0 Immersion

Ravenloft night!!! Everyone’s here tonight, and we’re stocked up on soda and chips, and the Pizza has been ordered, so it’s time we got going… as soon as we figure out where Ozzy’s character sheet is, since he wasn’t here last time and it’s missing…

Also: immersion is shot. Majere is living in the livingroom and we’re playing among piles of his stuff. Strife’s moved in to Majere’s old room and will be around a lot more, and I’m still having fantasies of Murano Glass  beads to go on the new snake chain I got to hold lockets… because… OMG Murano Glass!!!! ITS SO PRETTAY!!!! Yeeeees…. can’t stop window shopping the interwebz.

So when last we left our hapless crew, they were trying to get some important documents from the guards, about dead Brian….

  • So while the Paladin is out, the thief and the Kender rob the sleeping guards blind and make sandwiches with their food stores. The Paladin comes back and gladly makes his own sandwich, blissfully unaware that it’s stealing.
  • The drunk guard sent to get the stuff arrives, crashing into Marco who’s gone to catch up with the party, after he finally woke up in the in, having FINALLY rid himself of the nightmares from the horror check we all failed in the first damn session.
  • So… they braught way too much paper, and only Alaric can read it because no one else has Barovian as a language, but they resolve to go check the Burgomaster’s house to see what in there Dead Brian could have been after.
  • Barriston and Marco search upstairs… Popcorn and Alaric downstairs… Barriston and Marco find some journals, and unmade bed, and a ceiling cave in. Alaric finds a hidden door, and some suspicion items in foot lockers near some apparently unoccupied servant beds.
  • DM:It seems to be a secret shipment for the town of… Tuffledorf.
    Q and Mayo: Seriously?
    DM: Ok… no it’s for Barovia.
    Ozzy: You realize all this means is now we’ll need to have another excuse to go to Tuffledorf.
  • Ozzy: We rub the elf on the wall.
    Q: What? Why?
    Ozzy: We’re looking for hidden doors.
  • So we find out that this hidden shipment for Tuffledorf Barovia was probably the Burgomaster trying to find a way to get all this money he owed the count… and it wasn’t the only thing he was doing.
  • The Burgomaster was keeping Boris in his basement so that Dead Brian couldn’t kill him… which is how the Burgomaster got deaded… and probably Brian’s neighbors too, as it was likely that was Boris’ fancy boot in the basement.
  • So yes, in the safe in the basement where Boris was staying, we also find a scroll of “Speak to Undead”…. which is much needed, assuming Dead Brian can even talk.
  • Game hold for Paladin pee-break and DM Iraq War Stories. (The amusing barracks shenanigans kind, not the sad depressing kind.)
  • DM tries to go head to head with Ozzy in shots… Ozzy isn’t having it, and gingerly sips at his shots while Majerie pounds his… meanwhile Q and Majerie recount the story of how they got all these tube shooters that no one wants.
  • So we resume and something blows up a half a mile to the east.
    Strife: So… who wants to go to Tuffledorf?
  • Of course we don’t… we wait around while the guards all head out to the fire in the rain, and then come back talking about how a bunch of Vistani are fried.
    Alaric: Right… so we leave.
    Popcorn: Why?
    Alaric: The Vistani… are Protected.
    Barriston: Clearly not.
    Alaric: Strahd will be coming. This town will be destroyed.
    Barriston convinces the guards they need to evacuate… before the party sets off.
    Barriston: See you in Tuffledorf!!!
  • So in the sky above us, Dead Brian battles with Strahd, and Popcorn uses the “Speak with Undead” scroll to talk to Brian, who isn’t listening, but IS babbling about how he was wrongly convicted and lots of people need to die about it.
  • Also Popcorn failed her madness check for listening to Dead Brian, and got Paraniod. She’s not SCARED persay… kender… but totally thinks everyone else is up to something now…
  • Q: So we go to see the Fisherman who’s name we don’t know out of character, but do in character…
    DM: His name is… *Flips thru some pages.* Bullrock.
    Q: Because all you can think of is Rocky and Bullwinkle?
    Ozzy: That means the syllables left to make the other guy are Winkley.
    Q: Well wie already have Boris… so all we need now is Natasha.
    DM: Ok Fuck You Guys. He’s not Bullrock.
    Ozzy: He’s Winkley!
    DM: NO.
    Q: Rockettree! Sailing thru the air all on it’s own!!!
    Strife: How many things have we laughed into retcon now? Three?
  • So it turns out that the damn fisherman and all his friends were paid off by Boris to stay inside the inn, and not go out and see what happened on the street, and when they DID go out, they saw Dead Brian… still alive, and the murder victim. Everyone merely PRESUMED that Dead Brian killed him.
  • The next day Alaric and co gather up all these supposed paid off witness and bring them forth at the elections for the next Burgomaster in front of the whole town, and try and get Dead Brian’s case re-opened.
  • Barrison: What’s a mistrial?
    Q: Huh? You know what that is. They have them in Westeros.
    Strife: Don’t think so… considering the justice system is basically the Lord declaring if you’re guilty or not.
    Q: Fortunately we’re now in Russia.
  • So they’re giving us trouble… and we’re trying to get them to at least re-open the case to stop Dead Brian terrorizing everyone, when he showed up with Boris by the neck and tossed him into court.
  • Boris pleads guilty, so Dead Brian is exonerated… and Boris is in Trooooouble!!!
    Barriston: Make a pyre!
    Judge: That’s not how we do things here.
    Alaric: That’s up to the new Burgomaster… Burgomaster?
    Burgomaster: Lets make a pyre!
    Barriston: YAY!!!
    Popcorn: So… wait… are we having a marshmallow roast now?
    Barriston: Yes.
    Popcorn: Then WHERE ARE THE MARSHMALLOWS?!?!?!?
    Burgomaster: Better idea… an ounce of flesh for each man affected by this crime!
    DM: And the town falls upon him…
    Mayo: They had torn bits of him away and stuffed them into those gobbling fierce little empty black mouths of theirs!!!!
    Strife: Oh god not that!!!
    Mayo: There wasn’t a sound any more, there was nothing to see but Sebastan, what was left of him, that looked like a big white-paper-wrapped bunch of red roses had been torn, thrown, crushed!!–against that blazing white wall…
    Q: What is it?
    Strife: That PLAY!!!!!
    Ozzy: What play?
    Mayo: It’s Tennessee Williams. Suddenly Last Summer.
    Ozzy: Oh god…
    DM: Mayo, don’t forget Popcorn has Paranoia.
    Popcorn: Runs away shouting something about Marshmallows.
  • Dead Brian is apparently dead now, his wife is wrapping his dead body on the ground outside their house… and the mod for tonight is over, because we finaly killed the guy for good. XP Time!!!
  • So the next morning… we wake up and on the door of our inn room is pinned a note inviting us to a banquet in our honor… signed by Strahd.
    Popcorn: Oh Ducks No.
    DM: You don’t know anything about him other than he’s the Lord of this land.
    Strife: And he killed the Burgomaster.
    Mayo: Popcorn is Paraniod right now.
    Q: And she’s the only one who heard the zombies all muttering “Strahd… Strahd!!!”
    Popcorn: Oh DUCKS No!

Next Time on Ravenloft… we go to Tuffledorf? Or do we go do dinner with Strahd?

8^P

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