Heretics to the Empire – Dead Like Me

When last we left our cadre of Heretics we were going to sleep under the influence of some elven medicines that are supposed to prevent them from falling apart as a result of the bad time that they had with the kings magic balls of transport. Eden is hanging out… of course the Crown we’re after is quite likely on the King’s head, but he’s dumber than a bag of rocks and we’re going inevitably get in huge trouble trying to take it from him.

Still no Chell again, and Sam is sleeping ill in the next room, so it’s Strife, Ozzy and me, and the DM, Q. Majere is chilling out here… but he’s not playing because he doesn’t play this one… so yes… here we go!!!!

  • So, aside from Eden, we’re all asleep… except Elena  but her player is asleep, so her elf is off chilling in her own world, because that’s what she does.
  • Eden discovers that the food she stole from Cassie and Silas tastes just as shitty as everything she’s been eating for a while, and worries that she’s ill.
  • So… eventually the humans wake up, two days later… Silas feels fine. Cassie feels sick, cut off from Amaunator, and promptly pukes on invisible Eden, because she didn’t know she was there.
    Eden: You’re going to clean my boots. *Sticks foot in Cassie’s face.*
    Cassie: *Pukes more on the foot.*
  • So the doctor is sure there’s nothing wrong with Eden, or with Cassie and takes off. After informing the group that they should see the king by dinner time.
  • Ozzy: What are you cooking?
    Loi: Potstickers.
    Ozzy: Wait… OH! Potstickers. For a moment I thought that you said popsicles, but then I realized you don’t COOK those..
    Q: *Gets himself a popsicle.*
  • Silas: Can you do that find the God thing, thing that you do?
    Cassie: I’m not even sure I can find GOD right now… ow.
    Ozzy: I can’t make a satellite signal joke.
    Eden: What? Is your God mad at you?
    Cassie: No, yes? I don’t know… I don’t think he comes thru well in this dimension.
    Ozzy: Yeah… they probably don’t worship a minotaur.
    Eden: It’s true. We don’t.
  • Eden checks for magic items… vorpal scalpel jokes ensue among the players. Critical HIT!!! Whoops….
  • Eden pushes some clothes toward Cassie, who dresses behind a curtain made by Eden and a blanket.
  • They go about and canvas the area for places to hide, and then go to meet the king, finding out along the way that the only magic caster left in the realm right now, is the Archmage, and he’s been arrested.
  • So… the king is still thick, and still doesn’t believe that time is screwwy, so he sends us to jail… where we meet the Archmage!!! Of course.
  • Things taste bad… because we’re undead. We aren’t sure what KIND of undead we are, because the Archmage doesn’t know either, but we did just loos our Constitutions, and have to re-roll our hit points… how very awkward.
  • Also these cells are totally made to hold casters… so no one can cast, so they’re not getting out of there any time soon. It’s worse for Cassie… between this and her previous issue, she’s got no connection to Amaunator at all.
  • Well… we fail to escape for a while… while the Archmage explains how he programmed this place to move much slower than reality to give the army a place to recover… but then the idiot crazy coward king locked it down as a sanctuary for himself and his entourage. Idiot.

Aaaaaaand… ok it was super short, but Ozzy’s got class in the morning, and I’ve got my midterm at work tomorow morning, and I got 104% on my first test so I’ve got something to live up to here if I want to keep at the top of the class.


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