Luke Willson, Please Shut Up

I am getting really sick of ATT Wireless commercials. Let me state outright that I don’t work for Verizon and have no connection to them, other than choosing them as my phone carrier I don’t work for anyone… I’m unemployed since December.

Lately there have been a series of ATT Commercials set up to debunk Verizon’s campaign which shows their 3G coverage map, and ATT’s 3G coverage map, side by side. ATT even sued Verizon trying to say that the maps in the commercials were misleading because people might think there’s no cell coverage at all in areas not covered by their 3G network. Clearly they are not happy.

That does not excuse the crap they’ve been pulling.

Firstly we had the commercial where Luke Wilson says that Verizon is talking smack about their coverage area, and responds by reading off postcards for the various cities and other locales covered by their 3G network, and tossed them on the map. The postcards, relative to the map are much larger than the tiny dots which would be the cities, and they’re not remotely precisely placed, but tossed all over, and in fact wind up covering a much greater area than ATT’s actual coverage area, and then a scoop truck shows up with more of them. Nice visual trick, but it doesn’t make the coverage area any different than the one shown in the Verizon commercials, which in ATT’s lawsuit they stipulated was in fact an accurate representation of their 3G coverage.

Then we have the one with the downloads of the two Luke Wilsons, which shows that ATT’s downloads run in 90% the time of Verizon’s. Fair enough. Mind you when something takes 2 seconds to download this is almost negligible. It does not, however, change the fact of the coverage area. Nor does the commercial informing us that Verizon phones won’t double task. Each time, they bring up the maps however, saying Verizon said our coverage is crap, well it isn’t because our phones download faster! It’s not crappy coverage because our phones double task! As if these things are related.

The worst offender however is the commercial with the recreation of the Verizon map with the little red balls covering the coverage area. Luke Wilson stands in front of it, and says nice things about ATT, and each time he does, some balls fall off the Verizon map, as if each of these things have somehow reached into the fabric of reality and removed some of the Verizon coverage area. This makes no sense. It’s clinically stupid. Good things about ATT do not mean that the Verizon coverage area is shrinking. In the end the map is empty, as if he’s metaphysicaly obliterated their coverage area.

ATT, you can do better than this. You want to fight back against the fact that your 3G coverage is spotty as all get out? Try this one on for size: “ATT We have the iPhone. They don’t.” Effective… and HONEST. Quit being misleading creepers.


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One Response to Luke Willson, Please Shut Up

  1. restlesoul says:

    you’ll notice a lot of the time they also don’t come out and say “3G coverage” either but just the “coverage”. They are sunk when their exclusivity contract is up with iphone soon. Here in nyc they have major problems with the AT&T network getting overloaded too…people have noticably horrible download times here. I’ll stick to my droid thanks 😉

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