To anyone who’s been wondering where the hell I’ve been:
This is the first time I’ve turned on my laptop since at least early January. I work at Hell. Inc. and they are draining the life out of me with unpaid overtime, general fussiness and total lack of appreciation for my work. Measures are being taken to rectify the situation, namely I’m back on the job market, and I’ve informed my superiors that I will be leaving work on time from now on. Of course they retaliated by trying to get one of my co-workers to spy on me and catalog every moment I spent checking outside e-mail or reading a daily webcomic, sooooo… the hours I do spend there are about to get a whole lot worse. (The co-worker in question, being a good fellow refused to play “these games” and told me what they were up to, but I’m sure my supervisor is going to be watching me a lot closer now.)
I will still backpost the entry I was working on about New Years in Time Square. I’ll also backpost an entery about the cat, which I did adopt back in December. She’s loffly.
Things remain well with Jake (teh BF) and with Rachel (my Roomate.) Without the two of them I’d probably have gone of the deep end again by now. My papa gave me a link to the annonymus EAP at his job, since my job doesn’t HAVE an EAP, which is so bogus considering that the working conditions there are enough to give anyone a nervous breakdown. *Is suddenly reminded of an exchange on “Criminal Minds”*
Morgan: Reid, are you good with this? We’ve got a woman who’s only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile, and a Unit Chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Gideon: (enters the room) They don’t call them nervous breakdowns anymore.
Reid: They’re called major depressive episodes now.
Clearly I should have listened to the people that told me there was something shifty about this company. I didn’t and now I’m paying the price. I don’t have the energy or motivation these days to do anything but get home, get into my pajamas and watch TV with the cat… or Jake, if he’s about. I much prefer Jake… he’s cuddly and the cat prefers to sit at arms length. I do feel a bit better as of late… my mum says that’s because I’m taking “positive action” to change my situation and I think that’s true. I tend to become most despondent when I’ve completely relinquished control and just let people take advantage of me… I don’t enjoy succumbing to learned helplessness.
Has anyone here seen that episode of Crossing Jordan with the serial killer Ryan Kessler (a woman)? Cause I’m watching it just now, on my DVR, and it’s eerie how her general disposition is so… Rae like… only she kills men who try to cheat on their wives with her instead of death eaters. But she looks Jordan right in the face… who’s calling her acts murders, and says “my _killings_ were justified.” *Twitch.* Woa… yes.
Right then, I’m about to get out to Church, to sing in the chior for the first time in EONS… because the choir director cornered me after the last mass (I was in the congregation that day) and told me they want me back, even if Hell Inc. Won’t let me leave work on time to make rehearsal.
Lets hope that things get to looking up again soon.
And positive thoughts (prayers, wishes, chants, spells, whoever your thing is) for my application to Lockheed Martin are appreciated!!!